You may not know this but I have been part of building two race cars. It was an extracurricular activity in when I studied at uni, called Formula Student. Pretty cool actually. So now that I bragged about that lets talk about what race cars and sex have in common.
It is not only race cars, it applies to all cars, but race cars needs to be more fine tuned then regular cars to really be the best and I would say that the same goes with our bodies and sexuality, we want them to be the best and the better we become at fine tuning our bodies the better sex we will experience. Two important things when it comes to cars, and to sex, are acceleration and deceleration, kind of like a spectrum of on and off.
First time I heard about the concept of accelerators and brakes when it comes to sex and sexuality was when I was reading Come as you are by Emily Nagoski (very much recommend that book) and right away it just made so much sense to me and felt so logical (yeeey, the engineering side of me loved that!). The concept is just what it sounds like:
Accelerators - hitting the gas pedal. Basically everything around you that turns you on
Brakes - slowing it all down. Basically everything around you that turns you off
Some people have more sensitive accelerators and some have sensitive brakes, some have both sensitive brakes and sensitive accelerators and some neither. If you are one of those who very rarely feel turned on, your first thought might be that you have very sensitive brakes. That could be true, but it could also be that you simply are not surrounded by or experience any of your accelerators or you simply put a huge load on you brakes. The brakes and accelerators works together and understanding them is one the keys to a thriving sex life.
My absolute biggest brake is stress and another fairly big one is messy surroundings. If I am feeling a lot of these a given moment, it wont help to just put on sexy lingerie, which is a big accelerator for me. I would also need to release some of the pressure on the brakes, maybe tidy up a bit and release some of my stress and then maybe also add some more of my accelerators such as slow touch (which also releases stress for me) to get turned on.
How aware are you of your brakes and accelerators? By asking yourself simple questions and noticing when you are turned on and not turned on is a great start to get to know your brakes and accelerators.
Knowing and understanding your brakes and accelerators can without doubt change your sex life for the better - and you know me I am a big believer of that the better your sex life is the better your life is.